How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
