Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
