I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
