I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
