Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
it hurts more in the daytime
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
