I skipped work to stalk him.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
