Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
