u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
In America we eat man semen.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize