Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
