AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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