Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
