Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize