do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
