Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
