Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
