Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just invented taco cereal.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
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