you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
