My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize