remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
