I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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