spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
