What did we do last night that was yellow?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
