Dual....:-)
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize