ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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