eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
