my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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