tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
