The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
That reminds me...we need to get swords
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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