sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
