the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
