Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
