My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Randomize
