Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize