Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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