Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You made out with two different species that night
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
