She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
