I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
