that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
