is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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