Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
