I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
