So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
