Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
