Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
