So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
