final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Randomize
