I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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