this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
