I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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