got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize