I'm going to jail i love you
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
