That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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