Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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