I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize