what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
