That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
