I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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