there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize