I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
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