Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
