Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
