The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize