I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
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