If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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