dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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