Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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