STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
