Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
