So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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