You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
