ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
