i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Enjoy the penises
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
