He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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