I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
