new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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