so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
where does the pee come out of this thing
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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