I'm going to jail i love you
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
