you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
