I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
