Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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