come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
