Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
