She is in my trunk
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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