im gay
i know
yea but for you.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
