Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize